Please excuse me while I softly cry in my cubicle. The AP released a 1,000 word story today, courtesy here of the Keanu Reeves-es of crack investigative journalism, explaining that for a week, they decided not to report anything Paris-related. In their own words:It was only meant to be a weeklong ban -- not the boldest of journalistic initiatives, and one, we realized, that might seem hypocritical once it ended. And it wasn't based on a view of what the public should be focusing on -- the war in Iraq, for example, or the upcoming election of the next leader of the free world, as opposed to the doings of a partygoing celebrity heiress/reality TV star most famous for a grainy sex video.
No, editors just wanted to see what would happen if we didn't cover this media phenomenon, this creature of the Internet gossip age, for a full week. After that, we'd take it day by day. Would anyone care? Would anyone notice? And would that tell us something interesting?
It turned out that people noticed plenty -- but not in the way that might have been expected. None of the thousands of media outlets that depend on AP called in asking for a Paris Hilton story. No one felt a newsworthy event had been ignored. (To be fair, nothing too out-of-the-ordinary happened in the Hilton universe.)
Yeah, too bad nothing really exciting happened for the AP to jump all over, like recently when they reported that she was bored at a debutante ball.
When this is a headline story, is it really any wonder that kids these days don't know the multiplication tables and that "Deal or No Deal" is a top-rated television show?
I'm not sure why, but something tells me I'll be cursing a lot on my commute home tonight.
2 comments:
This post originally had more to the end of it, but really, I didn't think it was especially funny so I took it out. Here's the gist:
"I'm not sure why, but something tells me I'll be cursing a lot on my commute home tonight.
Fuck.
FUCK.
Can we please get back to the real news? [link to previous story about Edwards' digital campaign headquarters]
OH SHIT.
There has to be some real news somewhere![link to story about Anna Nicole's funeral service]
I will now quote "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" if I may:
FUCK SHIT COCK ASS DILDO BONER BITCH PUSSY BUTTHOLE BARBARA STREISAND!
That feels a little better. I'm going to go lay down for a minute or two."
See? Meh. Not so funny. Sometimes you just have to know when to stop. And then go back and correct yourself, but be completely transparent with your three readers and tell them you had some previous poor judgment.
Also, as it is now, the tag 'lots of swears' is kind of a non-sequitor, making it more humorous, because, let's face it, the above rant is about as funny as a poop joke on MadTV.
1) That's a good edit. I think it's pithier the way you have it now. Though the excised portion isn't bad. I'm glad we have the director's cut in the comments.
2) The Spanish version of "Deal or No Deal" is "Vas o No Vas."
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