NASA has a plan

In light of Lisa Nowak going mildly batshit last week, Newsweek obtained NASA's plan for dealing with 'unstable astronauts'. You know, just in case an astronaut flips out and tries to "open a hatch and kill everyone aboard". Thank God we have NASA working on this, because there is no chance in hell you or I or any other non-rocket-scientist could have come up with this:

1. Tie them up with duct tape.
2. If necessary, inject them with horse tranquilizers.

It's brilliant! How did they think of that! Wait, who are we kidding? They came up with WD-40 and Tang, this is child's play in comparison.

Read the entire story here, courtesy (of course) of those crack reporters at CNN. Their best pre-story bullet point, hands down, is "a gun would not be used; a bullet could pierce a spaceship and kill everyone", which anyone that's seen pretty much any space-movie, "Futurama", or US Marshalls could tell you anyway.

There is an extra provision, though, that if the unstable astronaut is actually a malfunctioning homicidal robot, you can always just beat the hell out of it with a fire extinguisher until it leaks milk and its head falls off. It worked for Sigourney Weaver.

Ian Holm hasn't had this much trouble pouring milk since he was three.