Titles of posts I have yet to write

1. "Why I refuse to write about celebutards"
2. "If I did write about celebutards, my next post would be about that crazy bald broad"
3. "The joy of finding holes in your underwear"
4. "The Florida judge's absurd decision to entrust the remains of Anna Nicole Smith to her infant daughter instead of her mother isn't surprising given the 2000 presidential election"
5. "Goddamit, why can't the Bears make their Super Bowl coach higher-paid than at least one other head coach? Seriously, last year Lovie made less than Art fucking 'Poker Face' Shell"
6. "I actually made time to sit down and watch 'The 1/2 Hour News Hour' and here is why it sucks huge amounts of ass"
7. "After much thought and the study of countless Red Skelton skits and Johnny Carson monologues, I've determined exactly what humor is comprised of, and in turn why Carlos Mencia, Larry the Cable Guy and 'Two and A Half Men' aren't funny"
8. "Butter pecan ice cream is vastly underrated"
9. "If I could slap any historical figure in the face and get away with it, I could make a pretty decent case for William Howard Taft"
10. "Five reasons I believe that John Madden has actually been dead since 1998"