Wail of the Chief

So long as I've been a member of the Big Ten, I've been aware of the Chief Illiniwek controversy that's been boiling since before I was born. Tonight, ironically Ash Wednesday, the Chief will be laid to rest, dancing his authentic tribal dance - authentic in the same way John Ford movies accurately portray our country's oldest inhabitants - for the last time. Courtesy of ESPN Page 2's Bomani Jones:

Wednesday night's game between Illinois and Michigan at Assembly Hall in Champaign will be emotional for some. Halftime will be the last time that Chief Illiniwek will dance as the the Fighting Illini's official mascot.

Dan Mahoney, who portrays Chief Illiniwek, believes "[Tonight] is going to be very tough for a lot of people."

Ahhh, but those people should keep their eyes on the bright side -- at last, Illinois will move into the 21st century!

If Mahoney only knew how wonderful things are in the present. Does he know that in the 21st century, people are able to connect to the Internet without having to plug cords into their computers? Shoot, pretty soon cars might even pop up on campus that use gas and electricity and get about 60 miles to the gallon! And wait until he and his fellow Illini find out about this HDTV thing. They'll be able to read the players' tattoos without getting courtside seats!

But wow, it's a good thing no one will see Chief Illiniwek in HD after Wednesday. I'd imagine that crystal clarity would make it obvious what Chief Illiniwek often was -- a white kid dressed in feathers and using a stereotype of Native Americans in the name of entertainment.

Save the arguments that Illiniwek was intended to honor the state of Illinois' Native American heritage for someone dumb enough to believe them. As Ron Froman, the former chief of the Peoria Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma (the closest living descendants of the Illiniwek Confederacy), said, "I don't think [Chief Illiniwek] was intended to support us, because, they ran [us] out of Illinois."

Finally, Chief Illiniwek has been run out of the University of Illinois. Welcome to the present.

And how! Also, TCMcG called out U of I here, pretty much nailing it right on the scalped head.

Farewell, dear Chief - if only you weren't on the same level of PC as blackface, we could be privy to your lameness for generations to come.

UPDATE: It just occurred to me that the U of I is finally following in Northwestern's footsteps, as in 1924 we changed our mascot from 'The Fighting Methodists' to 'The Wildcats', as the previous name was disrespectful to the Methodists who secured the land on which Northwestern currently rests with the blood and sacrifice of good real estate investment. With the departure of Chief, the last remaining non-PC mascot will be Bob Jones University's Pimped Out Jesus.